This one's for you.

1/20/17

One-year post concussion

And in the blink of an eye, one year has passed.

As many may know, I suffered a serious concussion last year. My life has changed in so many ways, some better than others, but this blog feels different than the others were to write. I previously had a lot of anger and sadness; emotions I had no idea how to control and understand. I have found a place of peace and acceptance for what I have experienced. I don’t think that I would have fully understood a concussion if I hadn’t experienced one. If your friend stubbed their toe, you empathize because you may know how it feels. If someone broke their arm, you may remember when you broke your ankle or fell off your bike, hurt your neck in a car accident, even if you have headaches regularly. But a concussion varies from person to person. Even before I experienced my concussion, another girl I worked with had one. She explained how she felt and all you really took from it is that she feels “off.” But to fully understand it takes research or unfortunately, experiencing one yourself. One high pitch of a sound is as scary as if someone just snuck up on you in the dark because of your heightened sensitivity to emotions and outside stimulants. Anything from music, lights, bells, beeping, a horn in the car, even someone just makes a loud sound while speaking can trigger you. Having to wear sunglasses inside of the house, store, and mall. Trying to be “ normal” in public and more so around your friends. You know you are “off” and you don’t want anyone to notice. Trying so hard to be how you were before, but you have changed.

I originally started writing about this to help myself. To help myself feel better because I felt like I had no one that really understood. NOW I WRITE THIS FOR YOU. For any of you that may be suffering or have suffered, I want you to know you are not alone and I KNOW it can be terrifying. A year ago I had no idea what was about to happen to my life. This week I was told to Google Post Traumatic Growth. I did and found this, “Posttraumatic growth is not about returning to the same life as it was previously experienced before a period of traumatic suffering; but rather it is about undergoing significant 'life-changing' psychological shifts in thinking and relating to the world, that contribute to a personal process of change, that is deeply meaningful.” That spoke volumes to me. At my lowest points of not being able to read, do simple math, drive, work out, watch movies, go out, and so on, I didn’t think I would have progress or any piece of my previous life. I am so thankful for those around me that supported and helped me get through this. It has been a difficult journey and it is not over, but I’m strong and only getting stronger. Here’s to 2017... and here’s to growth.

Light and Love,

Claire