Bridesmaiding on a Budget

Bridesmaiding on a Budget

I decided to write this blog about budgeting as a bridesmaid because by the end of 2019, I served as a bridesmaid 10 times and 3 of those were as Maid of Honor. I consider all of these women my close friends and even when I couldn’t afford it, I figured out how to be there for their big day. Seeing my friends happy is everything for me and I wouldn’t miss it for the world and it means so much to the bride and groom to have you there. Be gracious for the honor and be the best version of yourself for their big day.

So it’s finally happening! Your friends are starting to get engaged and weddings are being planned. Your best friend asks you to stand in their wedding as their bridesmaid and of course you can't wait to share this moment with them. You go with your bride to try on dresses, cake tasting and start sending inspiration boards back and forth. Maybe your bride is assigning a specific dress for you to wear and you're hoping that the color and style will be flattering for you. Maybe you get to choose any style but it must be in a specific color. That is anything that the bride approves. Then don’t forget about your shoes, nails, hair, makeup, bachelorette party, bridal shower, engagement party…did I leave anything out? Get your wallets ladies; we’re going to a wedding!

It’s nearly impossible to decline an invite as a bridesmaid. Also, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO? What an honor. Imagine all of the people in the world and your friend wants you to stand next to them on their big day! SEIZE THE MOMENT! Many brides will state that they understand if you cannot commit as a BM. Which yes, many times it may be challenging with life in the way, but you’d be surprised at the things you can manage. Do it!

I'm going to give you my tips on making this happen:

• Get dates for events as soon as possible so you can plan around it and start saving your dollars. Now living out of town and having a 9-5 may be challenging for making every event but make sure to get your time off request in for the wedding as a priority.

• Once you find out the dress your bride wants you to wear, GO GET IT. Brides do not want to find out that you've waited until the last minute to do this. They are already stressed out and do not need their closest friends to add to it.

• Offer your helping hands early on. Brides have a lot to do and plan and if you can take over the bachelorette or bridal shower planning it will help.

• If you don’t have the means to do this solo, reach out to the bridesmaids. IF YOU DON’T KNOW THEM THEN GET TO KNOW THEM! You’ll be spending the day and possibly other events with the bride's friends and it’s so much fun to get to know the other girls because you learn how/why the bride is friends with them. It's a fun experience if you are open to it. Don't wait until the day of the ceremony and then click up to your friends, INCLUDE the other BMs. Your bride will love this and you’ll be the ultimate “bride tribe!” Remember, just because your crew is there, the other BM’s may not have any friends there.

• LESS IS MORE for the bride. As in, and I am guilty of doing this, try not to ask 5 questions a day. Talk to the other BM’s first because they may have already asked and then if no one has the answer, ask the bride your questions. Some brides will be very specific like all hair up or down, nude nails or even, “I want everyone in Essie Bubble bath nail polish.” If the bride doesn’t flat out say that she wants you all in nude shoes, please be sure to ask. This just might be something that they overlooked but may care about. Also, if this all sounds crazy, maybe it's just my friends. Jokes.

Now, the reason why you're reading this, cutting costs.

• The dress: Many times you will be purchasing a specific dress from a specific store and there is no way around it. However, even if this is the case, you may be able to save a little here if you need to. Let’s say your bride wants you in a White by Vera Wang dress. These are usually sold at David’s Bridal and this is an affordable choice for the bridesmaids. If this is still a checkbook challenge for you, do your research. Check websites eBay, Poshmark, and Mercari for the same dress in your color and size. DISCLAIMER: if you find it, ASK the seller questions before purchasing. VERIFY any alterations, stains, and holes, to ensure that this is the exact gown in your size and color. There are more shades of blue than you probably know. This route will serve you no purpose if you get a used and abused BM gown that you have to spend money fixing or end up having to get a new one and then you’ve spent more than needed.

Now let’s say your bride request any style as long as it’s under certain regulations like longer than the knee, no designs but MUST be in a certain color. If you are on a budget this can play in your favor.

Your bride told you that you could pick any style gown as long as it is Lilac. Well, there are a ton of shades of purple and this shade also falls near lavender and periwinkle. If you found a dress that fits you perfectly and is within your budget, send a photo of you in it to the bride BEFORE YOU PURCHASE. Please try not to be discouraged if she doesn’t like it. Some may not care but others have a specific vision of what they want and this specific dress may not fit it.

Do your shopping. Lulu’s, Nordstrom, Nordstrom Rack, resale stores, Rent the Runway and even websites like Poshmark sell new, unused gowns for discounted prices. If you're unsure about the fit since you can't usually return on Poshmark, find a store that sells that brand and try them on. You can also Google size charts for brands and many sellers will give you the dress measurements if you ask. If you have a flexible budget but not the time, find someone to shop for you. I’ve shopped gowns for others and this can usually be done for around $100.

• Hair and makeup: If you completely suck at doing your hair and makeup, you may just have to cough up the $200. I say $200 because most hair and makeup artists charge around $85 per service and then you tip. Now let's say you think you could swing doing this on your own. Consider the day. You do not want to stress anyone around you by you being stressed about your attempted up-do looking like a hot rat nest or your winged eyeliner looking like Amy Winehouse, RIP. So if you really can't swing the extra money for the services, PRACTICE! YouTube University, Instagram and Pinterest have a ton of videos on easy but cute hairstyles and makeup looks. You want to be polished and not the only busted bridesmaid.

• Accommodations: These can get pricey at times so back to the befriending of other bridesmaids, bunk up! I’ve traveled to other countries with other people attending the wedding and we split costs on food, hotels, Airbnb and so on. IT HELPS to have a travel buddy if you are trying to save money and even to share your experience with someone. MAKE THIS AN EXPERIENCE. Everything in life is what you make of it.

• Flights: They can be your friend if you can be flexible. I have gotten one-way tickets for $15 within the US. Round trip flight to Thailand for under $400 and round trip to Italy for the same. Don't just search your local airports. If saving $300 means driving 3 hours to a bigger airport, weigh the costs of going there (parking, gas) and see if this option works for you. Luggage can be a big price difference for flights as well. There are many options for cheaper tickets if you only have a personal item. I KNOW this seems impossible ladies, but once I learned how to pack (and learned the airline loopholes) this is possible.

I will be doing a separate blog for packing tips and the best way to find the cheapest flights.